Finding Joy When Life Feels Heavy
In the last two articles, we've explored finding moments of calm and becoming more aware of the thoughts we carry.
But what about joy?
When life has felt heavy for a while, joy isn't necessarily the first thing we're looking for. We're trying to get through the day, keep up with responsibilities, take care of the people who depend on us, and stay focused on what's next.
And sometimes, staying busy can make it easier not to think about the things we'd rather not sit with.
You can be functioning, accomplishing things, and showing up for everyone around you while realizing: I don't feel like I'm enjoying much of my life right now.
Maybe the next question isn't, How do I fix everything?
Maybe it's: Where can I begin making a little more room for joy in the life I'm already living?
Notice What You Already Enjoy
When we're busy managing responsibilities or thinking about what's difficult, enjoyable moments can happen without us really taking them in.
Instead of immediately thinking about what you should add or change, become curious about when joy has already been present.
When was a season when you remember feeling more joy?
What were you doing differently then?
When was the last time you genuinely smiled, laughed, or enjoyed yourself, even for a few minutes?
If you asked someone who knows you well what brings you joy, what would they say?
On the days that feel a little lighter, what are you already doing differently?
Sometimes finding joy begins with noticing what's already there, remembering what has mattered before, and taking one small step toward it.
Finding Joy Doesn't Have to Be Something Big
There can be something comforting about familiar people, places, experiences, and small traditions.
Your favorite coffee. A song you love. Laughing with someone who knows you well. Sitting outside. Playing with your dog. Watching the sunrise. Returning to a place you enjoy.
Something doesn't have to be extraordinary to bring us joy.
Sometimes the ordinary is where the joy is.
Why Small Positive Moments May Matter
Those small moments of enjoyment may seem simple, but they can still be meaningful.
Research on positive emotions suggests that experiences such as joy, connection, gratitude, and contentment can broaden the way we think and respond to what's happening around us. Over time, these experiences may also help build psychological and relational resources that support us through difficult seasons (Fredrickson, 2004).
This doesn't mean ignoring what's difficult or expecting yourself to feel positive all the time. Sometimes, it begins with simply noticing a good moment when it comes.
When Joy Feels Hard to Access
If you've spent a long time staying busy, anticipating what could go wrong, thinking about painful experiences, or taking care of everyone around you, slowing down enough to notice what you enjoy may feel unfamiliar.
For some people, past experiences or trauma can contribute to patterns of staying alert, avoiding difficult emotions, or having difficulty feeling settled.
Understanding that may help explain why joy sometimes feels farther away than you'd like it to.
And if slowing down brings up more than you expected, you don't have to unpack everything alone.
For Those Who Want Their Christian Faith to Be Part of This Practice
Faith can also be part of finding joy, especially when joy feels harder to access.
Maybe it's quietly praying on a walk, reading Scripture with your coffee, noticing something beautiful in creation, turning on worship music, singing, dancing, or simply allowing yourself to enjoy the moment.
And if tears come too, they don't take away from the joy.
Throughout Psalm 16, David reflects on the goodness found in walking closely with God, ending with the reminder: “You fill me with joy” (Psalm 16:11).
His life wasn't free from hardship, uncertainty, grief, or fear. His writings remind us that difficult circumstances and an awareness of God's presence can exist at the same time.
Maybe finding joy in a heavy season isn't about forcing yourself to feel differently. Maybe it's about staying connected to God while becoming more aware of the goodness, beauty, and moments of joy that are still present.
Whole-Person Therapy in Chandler, Arizona
Therapy can provide space to explore what's been weighing on you without requiring you to maintain the professional image, be the strong one, or have everything figured out before you walk through the door.
My work with teen girls, young women, and women may incorporate cognitive and strengths-based approaches, somatic and body-awareness practices, nervous-system regulation, whole-person wellness, and Christian faith integration when desired.
In-person therapy in Chandler, Arizona | Telehealth throughout Arizona and California
I offer a complimentary 15-minute consultation if you'd like to explore whether working together may be a good fit.
Reference:
Fredrickson, B. L. (2004). The broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions. Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, 359(1449), 1367–1378. doi:10.1098/rstb.2004.1512
